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BAR/BAT MITZVAH:
The literal meaning of "Bar Mitzvah" is "son of the commandment." "Bar" means the
"son" in Aramaic and "Mitzvah" means the "commandment" in both Hebrew and Aramaic.
"Bat" means the daughter in Hebrew and Aramaic. the terms refer to the coming of
age of the a Jewish boy and the Jewish girl. The Bar Mitzvah is celerated for a
Jewish boy when he is of the age 13yrs and it is of the age 12yrs for a Jewish girl.
There is a formal celebration of the occasions.
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JEWISH WEDDING CEREMORIES:
The Jewish Wedding Ceremony
The process of marriage occurs in two distinct stages: kiddushin (commonly translated
as betrothal) and nisuin (nuptials). The courtship may be long but once the couple
decides to marry a short engagement (Kiddushin) period ensues. This is far more
binding than a traditional engagement as we understand the term in modern English;
they do not live together at the time of the kiddushin, and the mutual obligations
created by the marital relationship do not take effect until the nisuin (nuptials)
are complete. The word "kiddushin" comes from the root Qof-Dalet-Shin, meaning "sanctified."
It reflects the sanctity of the marital relation. However, the root word also connotes
something that is set aside for a specific (sacred) purpose, and the ritual of kiddushin
sets aside the woman to be the wife of a particular man and no other.
Bedeken and Ketubah
On the day of the wedding and just prior to the wedding ceremony the Rabbi meets
with the bride and groom and their close family to perform a ritual called the Bedeken.
The purpose is for the groom to ensure that he is marrying the intended bride. The
groom looks at the uncovered face of the bride, and after his reassured, he lowers
a veil over her face. This tradition stems from Biblical times when Jacob was tricked
into marrying Leah, instead of Rachel, the woman he truly loved, because Leah’s
face was covered. The bride and groom and their witnesses also sign the Jewish marriage
contract, the Ketubah. The witnesses assume a significant responsibility by validating
the marriage.
Chuppah
The public ceremony follows and is performed under the Chuppah, a canopy symbolizing
the home that will be established by the bride (kallah) and groom (chatan). It is
open on four sides reminiscent of the tent of Abraham which was open visitors from
all directions. The groom is brought to the chuppah by his parents before the bride.
This tradition comes from the Bible, where it says that Eve was brought to Adam.
Adam was said to be incomplete until he was joined by Eve. Family members and friends
surround the Chuppah to reflect their sustaining and supportive roles in the life
of the couple.
Circling
The Kallah, escorted by her parents, arrives and circles the Chatan seven times,(
more reform ceremonies may only circle three times) symbolizing her new role as
protector of the family. By circling the Chatan the Kallah creates an invisible
wall to protect him from evil spirits, from the glances of other women and from
the temptations of the world. The Jewish Cabalists, or mystics, believed that circling
was the way to enter the other person’s s’fira, or the mystical spheres of the soul.
When the kallah has completed circling the groom she stands at his right side, as
it is written in the Psalms, ”At my right hand does the queen stand” (Psalm 45:10).
Kiddush
The ceremony is composed of two parts: the erusin-kiddushin (betrothal) and the
Nesuin (nuptials). Both are introduced with the blessing on wine, a symbol of joy
and abundance. The Rabbi then recites a blessing acknowledging the sacred Mitzvah
of marriage and offers the Kallah and Chatan a sip of the wine.
Ring Ceremony
The exchange of the wedding rings is known as Kinyan. The essence of the betrothal
is when the bride and groom both recite, “With this ring you are consecrated to
me according to the laws of Moses and Israel” while placing the ring on each others
right forefinger. It is circular and without end, a symbol of eternity. The custom
stems from an ancient belief that the index finger was directly connected to the
heart by a special artery.
Ketubah
The ketubah is then read. The Ketubah is the Jewish Marriage Contract that was signed
prior to the ceremony which discusses the couple’s responsibilities to one another.
The reading of the marriage contract in its original Aramaic text is a time-honored
tradition. The document is handed to the Chatan for him to hand to his Kallah for
safekeeping. Once the Ketubah (Jewish marital document) is signed the relationship
can only be dissolved by death or a Get (religious document of divorce approved
by a chief Rabbi).
Seven Blessings- Sheva Berachot
These blessings conclude the liturgy of the Jewish marriage. They rejoice in God’s
gifts of life, family, love and the union of the bride and groom. It encompasses
many themes, including the creation of the world and of humanity, the survival of
the Jewish people and of Israel, the marriage and the couple’s happiness and the
raising of the family. Upon the conclusion for the blessings, the Chatan and Kallah
drink from the second cup of wine.
Breaking of the Glass
The breaking of the glass is an ancient custom reminding us that there is sadness
even at times of greatest joy. It is a symbol of the destruction of the Temple in
Jerusalem more than 2000 years ago. It is also a reminder to the couple that their
marriage binds them to the joy and sorrows of the entire Jewish people. A piece
of glass is well wrapped in cloth and place under the groom’s right foot. He then
breaks the glass and the guests shout “Mazel Tov” (congratulations, good luck) in
unison. The couple then retires briefly to a completely private room, symbolic of
the groom bringing his wife into the marital home. The ceremony is followed with
lively music, great celebration, dancing the traditional Hora, and a festive meal.
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